Duit Raya

Ensuring every little green packet is given away with satisfaction.

Nama sapa?
Nama mak apa?
Bapak?
Tinggal mana?
Sekolah mana?
Darjah berapa?
Ada girlfriend?
Tu sapa sms tu?
Kenapa tak bawak girlfriend sekali?
Girlfriend cantik tak?
Eh kenapa tak makan?
**pours more food in to their plates**
Tak sedap ke mak cik masak?
Nak balik dah ke?
Ada appointment ke?
**suddenly rains**
bwaahahhahaha ni tak boleh balik lagi ni.
**the priceless oh shit we're fucked looks on their faces**

SimCity to replace the current syllabus?

Tues, Kuala Lumpur- It has been decided today in the Parliament that all current existing and soon to be town planners are to study the celebrated game in the late 1990's, Sim City. In fact, in the near town planner license will depend on how well they do in the game simulation. The goverment are looking at an option of building a dedicated ranking server to determine which which town planner will keep their license for the year and who will have their license revoked.

"The current city expansion was done at a rate that is not at all syncronised. Housing areas are booming by the seconds whilst the public transportation system are only able to cater 15 percent of the city population", said Datuk Asymawi, Minister at the Prime Minister's Office. He added that the once addicted past time will be the only one true solution to the current massive traffic situation in major cities in this country.

The Chairman of the TownPlanners'R'Us Society, Mr Meballz Izhery, said "Extreme times calls for extreme meassures. And it has come to the time that the country should work with town planners that understand the game".He commented at a press conference as a response to the Parliament's decision.

"Though some the only set back to this training system is that some might use cheat codes in order to accomplish missions. But we, town planners work based on the Town Planners Code of Ethic and we would abide by it. We also have game moderators, just in case"

A member of the world renowned underground Town Planner clan, Ms. Nat did not agree with the sudden announcement.

"Not all of us has the luxury of the internet and some of us has outdated computer sets. It will not be a fair fight to all. I suggest rather than competing in the online world, we should compete in person as this is the closest thing. We should build sand castles instead!"

Datuk Asymawi also mentioned that TPR1MA has been structured and might commence next week at the earliest.

"Apa dia merepek? Is she an architect or a town planner? This is 2012, how are we going to compute on the traffic? Use ketam? Common sense lah"

He added, "Town Planner Rakyat 1 Malaysia is will be an aid to those who can't afford upgrade to their computers and a platform for them to register internet accounts. Yes we are looking for town planners with quality, and we are giving the not so fortunate ones a good fighting chance."

QuackQuackQuack

"Yes? Yes Harlow?"

Very soon, telco customer service will change their greeting format with the above phrase. In fact, the change of standard greeting has already been commenced at most middle to lower class shopping malls nation wide, especially cellphone retail outlets.

The Yes? Yes Harlow? phrase reveiced a majority vote at the Parliament recently thus putting aside the older version greeting phrase "Good day Sir! How may I help you?".

One of the spokesperson mentioned that, "In an ever fast moving world today, we find that the redundancy of the old manner of greeting can simply be replaced with the new compact all in one Yes? Yes Harlow? greeting".

"Isn't this exciting? Customers being greeted with such manner will be more than overwhelmed to spend every single ringgit at the retail outlet", added the spokesperson.

The  Cellphone Retail Assotioation has taken swift action by sending all retail personel to attend a crash course on how to effectively use the Yes? Yes Harlow? greeting with the correct face expresion, body languange and tone of voice. As a result of the crash course, results were higher than what the TCRA has expected and TCRA are currently bragging the success of the crash course to the Parliament with hope of more training funding. Below is what the consumers can expect-

A consistent greeting from end to end.

Consumers can also check if they are doing it right if the retailers greeting consist of the following elements:
a) The most crucial Yes? Yes Harlow? greeting with eye contact. May come in different variety but should consist of the Yes? word and should not be more than 4 word.
b) The retailer should have their eyebrows slightly raised up and should express a quizzical face expression.
c) A bonus mark should be given if the retailer continues fondling with their high tech phone when the customer gives the "I'm just looking signal"
d) The more retailer saying it at once the better. (Creppy attack bonus)

"This is one of our other inovative customer oriented service improvisation after the replacement of papers to the more modern calculators as price tags"