Food Poisoning or Major Gastric.

We just got back from our long holiday with my side of the family up north in Perak and the first thing we did when we got back was to list down Open Houses and places possible for free dinner. Our Facebook account was overwhelmed with  invitation for Raya gathering. 

We saw a possible 6 to 7 house a day, but when included time on the road, only a maximum of 3 houses can be done. siChanteq who has been away for almost 2 months was looking forward to feast on Malaysian food and had her eyes on Azmil's annual lamb feast. 

Much to my disappointment, she was not feeling well. She complained that she felt sharp pains in the her tummy and could not consume much. 

So we consulted a doctor.

Doctor asked a specific question. 

Doctor said hmm..

Doctor prescribed medicine. 

And we left. 

Day 2! Open house!- Woots. Just we were about to get started, siChanteq felt alot of pain, nauseated and vomited a couple of times. I had to do things solo at the houses that we visited, siChanteq was trying to recover with the medicine given to her the day before. Fearing that it will get worst, I took her to the same clinic, but this time it was another doctor. 

Doctor#3 asked the same specific question. 

Doctor said hmm..

Doctor prescribed medicine. 

And we left. 

Day 3! Lets do this again! - It did go as planned. She could not stand the smell of grilled lamb nor was she comfortable with the crowd. Slightly embarrassed, I said my goodbyea to the STB gang and we left. siChanteq went for another round vomiting just next to our car. Passersby shook their heads thinking it was kinda too early to get wasted. 

Our next visit to the clinic a few days later, seemed different than the last two. This time the doctor (who owns the clinic, the previous two were locums) asked siChanteq the same question again, did some calculation and this is what was causing her sickness. 

Funny after that visit she had no problem eating.

Duit Raya

Ensuring every little green packet is given away with satisfaction.

Nama sapa?
Nama mak apa?
Bapak?
Tinggal mana?
Sekolah mana?
Darjah berapa?
Ada girlfriend?
Tu sapa sms tu?
Kenapa tak bawak girlfriend sekali?
Girlfriend cantik tak?
Eh kenapa tak makan?
**pours more food in to their plates**
Tak sedap ke mak cik masak?
Nak balik dah ke?
Ada appointment ke?
**suddenly rains**
bwaahahhahaha ni tak boleh balik lagi ni.
**the priceless oh shit we're fucked looks on their faces**

SimCity to replace the current syllabus?

Tues, Kuala Lumpur- It has been decided today in the Parliament that all current existing and soon to be town planners are to study the celebrated game in the late 1990's, Sim City. In fact, in the near town planner license will depend on how well they do in the game simulation. The goverment are looking at an option of building a dedicated ranking server to determine which which town planner will keep their license for the year and who will have their license revoked.

"The current city expansion was done at a rate that is not at all syncronised. Housing areas are booming by the seconds whilst the public transportation system are only able to cater 15 percent of the city population", said Datuk Asymawi, Minister at the Prime Minister's Office. He added that the once addicted past time will be the only one true solution to the current massive traffic situation in major cities in this country.

The Chairman of the TownPlanners'R'Us Society, Mr Meballz Izhery, said "Extreme times calls for extreme meassures. And it has come to the time that the country should work with town planners that understand the game".He commented at a press conference as a response to the Parliament's decision.

"Though some the only set back to this training system is that some might use cheat codes in order to accomplish missions. But we, town planners work based on the Town Planners Code of Ethic and we would abide by it. We also have game moderators, just in case"

A member of the world renowned underground Town Planner clan, Ms. Nat did not agree with the sudden announcement.

"Not all of us has the luxury of the internet and some of us has outdated computer sets. It will not be a fair fight to all. I suggest rather than competing in the online world, we should compete in person as this is the closest thing. We should build sand castles instead!"

Datuk Asymawi also mentioned that TPR1MA has been structured and might commence next week at the earliest.

"Apa dia merepek? Is she an architect or a town planner? This is 2012, how are we going to compute on the traffic? Use ketam? Common sense lah"

He added, "Town Planner Rakyat 1 Malaysia is will be an aid to those who can't afford upgrade to their computers and a platform for them to register internet accounts. Yes we are looking for town planners with quality, and we are giving the not so fortunate ones a good fighting chance."

QuackQuackQuack

"Yes? Yes Harlow?"

Very soon, telco customer service will change their greeting format with the above phrase. In fact, the change of standard greeting has already been commenced at most middle to lower class shopping malls nation wide, especially cellphone retail outlets.

The Yes? Yes Harlow? phrase reveiced a majority vote at the Parliament recently thus putting aside the older version greeting phrase "Good day Sir! How may I help you?".

One of the spokesperson mentioned that, "In an ever fast moving world today, we find that the redundancy of the old manner of greeting can simply be replaced with the new compact all in one Yes? Yes Harlow? greeting".

"Isn't this exciting? Customers being greeted with such manner will be more than overwhelmed to spend every single ringgit at the retail outlet", added the spokesperson.

The  Cellphone Retail Assotioation has taken swift action by sending all retail personel to attend a crash course on how to effectively use the Yes? Yes Harlow? greeting with the correct face expresion, body languange and tone of voice. As a result of the crash course, results were higher than what the TCRA has expected and TCRA are currently bragging the success of the crash course to the Parliament with hope of more training funding. Below is what the consumers can expect-

A consistent greeting from end to end.

Consumers can also check if they are doing it right if the retailers greeting consist of the following elements:
a) The most crucial Yes? Yes Harlow? greeting with eye contact. May come in different variety but should consist of the Yes? word and should not be more than 4 word.
b) The retailer should have their eyebrows slightly raised up and should express a quizzical face expression.
c) A bonus mark should be given if the retailer continues fondling with their high tech phone when the customer gives the "I'm just looking signal"
d) The more retailer saying it at once the better. (Creppy attack bonus)

"This is one of our other inovative customer oriented service improvisation after the replacement of papers to the more modern calculators as price tags"

Woots! #2: Scha Alyahya

Kenapa saya chenta siChanteq saya: #544
She works at a place where celebs hang out. How cool is that yo? And what do I get out of it? Autographed paper notes with my name on it.

Latest to my collection, Scha Alyahya! Answering the question from the slider; nothing, just my name and hers.

Actually, spelled my name wrong, Ashmawi is a friend's name (of course she meant me and not him), tapi sebab nak cool nya pasal pastu tak nak mamat tu perasan lebih, I editted it. The one above is the original version, the one below is the 'FB show off I've got this and you don't version' .

Scha's latest updates can be read here: http://www.facebook.com/scha.alyahya. She too likes Johnny Depp. Great minds think alike.

❤

Sazzy Falak

Back then when I used to work at Starbucks Jaya, Seksyen 14, PJ, I used to collect autographs of celebrities on my green apron. Then, I managed to get Sarah Hannah Tan's, Emmet of Butterfinger, Reshmonu's and few other more celebrities' autographs. But unfortunately, due to environmental factors, apron tu jadi cam belacan, and I couldn't find it on my last shift at the store. 

I would usually carry me ol Canon Ixus 65 with all the time and I would not hesitate to stop any celebrities I meet (depending on how many bodyguards escorting them, time and place) for a photograph. Joey G was one them and just a few days back I missed the chance of getting one with Datuk K and Datuk Siti at Pavilion, when they just stepped out of their Mini Countrymen, KCT 1.

Picking up where I left, I got Sazzy Falak's signature together with a cute little note =)

I did wrote a reply and I wonder if she is ever gonna receive it. Sorta desperate attempt to get a celebrity to drop by here, but ah the hell LOL

Sazzy frequantly updates her status on FB, check out what shes doing at http://www.facebook.com/sazzyfalak

the missing word syndrome

it is quite common to see writer leaving a letter behind when writing. the typo mistake is either caused by typing to fast or maybe a mere human error, or maybe it is just that the writer is really confident that the word if supposed to be spelled in that manner when it is not.

the typo error is something that i can avoid easily thanks the spelling check function. the good side of the function is that i can save time rather from looking up for a word in the dictionary which would take alot longer than left clicking the particular word which is underlined in red to look for suggestion spellings of the word that i want to use in a particular sentence.

but the main problem that i currently having is that, often i would leave a whole word behind. i know that the only to avoid this problem is to scan through the article written. but funny, even scanning through a couple of time right after writing, it always ends up with a pat on the back for a job well done.

a few days later when i come back to the earlier posts, only then i would realize that when i thought i had written:
i took the chance to kiss the girl while driving
turned out to be
i took the chance to kiss the girl          driving.
and after a few more days, more words started disappearing 
i took the chance to       the girl          driving.
and worst, after a few weeks, it became something else
i took the girl out for a drive.

and some times i've a hunch that my articles actually evolves on its own. having their own mechanism of growth, DNA structure and characters. slowly without me knowing, they turn out to be another article when i came to read them back.

this is where the message that i am trying to convey is usually interpenetrated into something else.

any reasons why this happens?
1- my brains might be overloading data to the hands, most probably like the common internet connection. the same answer that the customer service from the local internet provider would answer "your modem is slightly outdated to cope up with the amount of speed and data that is being transmitted through high frequency cable from our server to your house "
2- my brains and my hands may have two distinctive minds and personality. one would suggest what to say, but the other would over rule the first by typing out what it feels like typing.

a friend of mine also complains bout having the same problem. but i think his is much worst.
"the paragraph goes missing, i cant understand why, i thought i spent the last 45 minutes writing something and when its published- empty. wouldnt that be good if that were to happen to all the foods that ive eaten?"